Your Struggles Aren’t Failures They’re Just Missing The Right Ingredient
I journaled about trusting myself yesterday, and I wasn't getting IT! Seeing now as a way to adjust the process as it is coming along is trusting in the process. Like creating a new recipe. When I come up with a dish, I do not know the correct measurements. It is the ideation of the dish. If I look at dilemmas as starting a new recipe, you do not expect how it will turn out. It is almost, if not precisely, like FAILURE. I felt that I had achieved nothing today because my mind was partly cloudy. I am wary of not doing something, letting go of myself, and losing myself to the darkness. One thing keeps popping into my head: I feel my nervous system working in overdrive. I feel that stress and worry; I see what it can do to me. I acknowledge that I NEED to have money come in! I know that I have to provide for my family. I, at times, feel stuck. As I would say to a friend, "Time doesn't heal wounds. It numbs them. We learn to cope and push forward. Maybe this moment isn’t about finding balance immediately but about tolerating imbalance without letting it define you. Balance doesn’t mean everything is equal at all times—it means learning which areas need more attention and when. Just like you instinctively tweak flavors in a dish, you’ll learn to do this in life, too. Growth is messy and painful; nothing worth fighting for is ever easy! If I start to look at things in the way of when something is unbalanced?
• If a dish is too salty, you add acid or sweetness to cut through.
• If it’s too rich, you lighten it with freshness or crunch.
• If something is missing, you don’t just throw in more of the same—you counterbalance it.
Now, apply that to my life:
• If stress is overwhelming, what’s your acidity? (A grounding practice, a walk, a deep breath.)
• If your mind is overloaded, what cuts through that heaviness? (A structure, a reset, a moment of quiet.)
• If money is your biggest trigger, what’s the balancing note? (Perspective, control over what you can manage, acknowledging the things that are going well.)
You don’t force balance in a dish. You work towards it! You don’t force balance in life - you adjust to it!
I am not stuck - I am just waiting for the right flavor profile to emerge.
What if today’s win is allowing yourself to be in the fog without self-judgment?
What if balance isn’t about fixing everything but trusting yourself to adjust as you go?
What if I were to look at triggers this way? Triggers are like a new recipe. Just like when experimenting with a dish, a trigger is just an unexpected ingredient you didn’t anticipate. It doesn’t ruin the dish—it just means you need to adjust.
A trigger isn’t failure; it’s just a strong flavor that needs balancing. If a dish is too salty, you don’t throw it away—you add acidity, sweetness, or fat to bring it back. If a trigger hits too hard, you don’t shut down—you adjust your response, find the missing ingredient and course-correct. It is not about trying to erase the flavor (the trigger). Now, it is about learning how to make it work for me!
